Discrimination within the Islamic Community

It hurts me to write this post because Islam has enough negative portrayal as there is. Conversely, I feel that this is necessary for those within Islam. Yes, I know. Controversial, but I feel like these voices are not represented and have been left unprotected from discrimination.

I am a Muslim girl who does not wear a headscarf. I should be wearing a headscarf because God tells women to do so. I have not reached this point. I never wanted to explain why I do not wear a headscarf because Islam teaches us that you do not tell anybody if there is something that is haram (forbidden). Allah will forgive you, but others may not.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

“My entire nation is safe, except Al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins).”

Nonetheless, Allah says in Surah An-Nisa (4): 148:

“Allah does not like that evil should be uttered in public except by him who has been wronged.”

As my sins are on display because I do not wear a headscarf, and other people believe that they can discriminate against me publicly, I feel that I should speak on behalf of others and for myself.

All the women in my family do not wear a headscarf. Yet, I went to religious school and became surrounded by Muslim friends who wear headscarves. I was that exception. When I attended secondary school, all the Muslims wore headscarves. Again, I was that exception.

I felt that I needed to wear a headscarf, and I put pressure on my mother to allow me to wear one. She said that I was going to put on a headscarf for other reasons. I should not base my decisions on: ‘I don’t want people to look at me, so I should wear a headscarf.’ She added that I would understand when I was older and do whatever I wanted when I married. The conversation was non-negotiable. I am now in this weird place where I would like to wear a headscarf but cannot do so.

As I do not wear the headscarf, I feel that people disrespect me. It’s like a girl who sleeps with lots of girls in the westernised world and faces slut-shaming discrimination. Instead, I am that girl who gets slut-shamed because I am not dressing how God tells me. Yet, my Islam is rooted deep within me, and I try my best to follow Islam as best that I can. Appearances are not everything about a person, but many Muslim girls who wear a headscarf, are deeply judged. Many Muslim girls wear headscarves but do haram acts. Yet, they discriminate against me and do not face discrimination themselves. All I can say is: looks can be deceiving and do not define one’s moral integrity and worthiness.

The stigma of girls who do not wear a headscarf is prominent and has often happened to me. Being judged for not wearing a headscarf has happened more times than I can count. It comes mostly from women. For guys, they mostly just ask me why I do not wear one, but they never make me feel unworthy of Islam. They usually understand my position when I explain and the way some Muslim girls behave. It is disappointing that guys support girls more than girls support girls; if anything, it should be the other way.

The discrimination faced for not wearing a headscarf happens to me daily. I can be walking down the street and minding my own business when I will get rolls of eyes with a dirty look scanning my entire appearance from head-to-toe. It is not a pleasant position. When this happens, I go home and tell my mum about it. She tells me what do I expect; I don’t wear a headscarf. However, she does say that it is not right that they discriminate and treat me differently from other people. I believe this is true. She does mention that if she were there, she would say something. She thinks that I remain too quiet in positions like these, and I should just ask, ‘do you have a problem?’ I have been leaving it for now because it does make me uncomfortable, but maybe I will begin to do so.

I would love to have more Muslim friends, but I can only be friends with those who accept me. The Muslim friends that I have currently are all welcoming and understanding of me.

After my nani passed away, I got more involved with Islam. I also wanted more Muslim friends at university, so I attempted to join the Islamic society at my university. The Isoc (Islamic society) said they are welcoming to all, even people who are not Muslim. However, when I went, everybody was looking at me. I was the only girl there not wearing a headscarf. The mood was cold and tense. They even started giving a lecture about girls who do not wear a headscarf with continuous glances at me.

I am not completely sensitive where I cannot hear someone telling me when I have sinned, but it was attacking me. The lecture subject was not on headscarves but changed because a non-coverer turned up. I felt like a topic of discussion and made an example of sin, which is wrong:

Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said:

“He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, Allah will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, Allah will make it easy for him in the Dunya and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter…”

This passage reiterates how we should keep other people’s sins to ourselves if we come to know of them. If we do, God will cover our sins for us on the Day of Judgement. If not, He will not.

Despite this, Islam always taught me to treat everybody with kindness. I left showing gratefulness, with a hug to the person who gave the lecture and jazak’ Allah. However, I never came back. It was not my people, even though I needed a community at that time.

I would like to make it clear that not everybody is like this. I have a Muslim friend from my Creative Writing class. I told her about this, and she said she does not go to Isoc because of how judgmental they are. She is a girl who wears a headscarf and, in my eyes, acts righteously within the fold of Islam.

I respect the headscarf, and I know that I am supposed to be wearing one. However, all Muslims have their journey with God, and not everybody is there yet. One should not have to explain their journey with God. It’s not anybody else’s business, and you do not know what that person is going through between their relationship with God. I feel that other people should understand that it is okay.

One has to follow Islam under their rights and when their faith in God has reached that point. By making people feel inferior and on edge does not increase someone’s Islam. It is also not what Islam teaches. Islam translates to ‘peace,’ and so people should not deliberately be cruel to someone. Allah said to be welcoming and kind. Our Prophets acted in this manner. I am talking about my personal experience of not wearing the headscarf, but discrimination is not encouraged in Islam under any circumstances. I am not saying the action is not wrong, but that nobody deserves to be treated, nor has the right to treat someone as unworthy inside the Muslim community.

The way that people behave within the fold of Islam. It shows how others perceive us too. What happens if someone wants to convert to Islam but is invited coldly by the Muslim community? The person would run away from Islam, not convert to Islam. For people struggling within Islam, it is the same thing: the person would run away. By acting in this way, the person will feel increasingly more isolated from Islam. Nobody has the right to say who and who is not Muslim other than God. So, nobody should make people think that they are not worthy of being within the Muslim community. Both have just as much right to be within the community than the other.

I think I get more hurt because I adamantly protect Islam and its people against discrimination only to receive discrimination from certain people within the Muslim community. I am a strong person, so I deal with it, like many others. I know what Islam is about from learning about it for ten years at my Islamic religious school, then furthering it. I also know my relationship with God, and nobody can stop me from believing just because of how some people behave within the community.

I have specifically talked about the generation of young Muslims. However, there is a lot of discrimination within the older Muslim generation. I feel like they are a bit hopeless in changing their attitude and actions because they are ‘traditional.’ In other words, they can be a bit stuck in their ways. Nonetheless, the younger generation does not have to copy this behaviour.

I have not talked about Islamophobia yet, but I will do so. I never had someone to speak up like this when I went through school or even now. Since my sixth form, I have met more Muslim girls who do not wear the headscarf and have related to this. I felt like this needed to be said because it is unfair how this group of people gets treated, and not many people speak up about this.

I hope this was enlightening or relatable in some way. Thank you again for continuing to read, and I hope to see you next time :)

Love always,

Shanaz Xx