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Arranged Vs. Forced Marriages

  • Writer: Shanaz
    Shanaz
  • Sep 18, 2020
  • 3 min read

As an arranged marriage is most common in religious and cultural backgrounds, it’s unsurprising that many people confuse the term with a 'forced' marriage.

Definitions:

Arranged marriage: a marriage planned and agreed by the families or guardians of the couple concerned.

Forced marriage: one or both persons don’t or can’t consent to the marriage and pressure or abuse is used to force them into marriage.

Arranged marriages are practiced by many religions. Forced marriages is a product of cultural traditions.

Forced and early marriages are most common in Africa, South Asia and former Soviet republics. Despite this, there are still cases in North America and other European countries. The United Kingdom (UK) determines it as illegal; it’s considered a form of slavery. Nonetheless, it still occurs.

Cases of Forced Marriage:

Jasvinder Sanghera:

Jasvinder is a British survivor of forced marriage. A girl who loved education and had lots of friends, but her family told her this was wrong. Only at the age of 8, she was told she should get married to a man who she only saw in a photograph. She refused.

Refusal to marriage earned her parents padlocking her room door shut and banning her from leaving the house. She even had to knock for permission to go toilet. Having witnessed her sisters forced into marriage, she didn’t want the same fate. So, she planned her escape.

She went North where somebody helped her. However, her parents called the police reporting a missing person. The police found her. She told her story. They didn’t force her to return home, but was expected to call home. Her mum said if she didn’t come home and marry the man who they had promised her to, she was dead to them from that day forward. She wanted to go back home, but not to marry that man. Therefore, she never returned.

She was dis-owned, but secretly spoke to her eldest sister who was forced into a marriage and was emotionally and physically abused. Wanting to leave the marriage, she told her family but was told to stay-put because divorcing would shame her family's honour. Soon, she committed suicide by setting herself on fire. The family said it was better she committed suicide than wrong the family of honour.

Shafilea Ahmed:


A British girl who loved education, aspired to be a lawyer, and had many friends. Her family perceived this as 'westernised' and therefore abused her. Soon, she was told she was to marry in Pakistan. Refusing, she asked for help with 5 institutions, but they failed her because they took her back home to the perpetrators. To them, it was acceptable because it was a cultural practice.

Shafilea wasn’t as lucky as Jasvinder. She was drugged by her parents and forcefully taken to Pakistan to marry. In attempts to stop the marriage, she drank half a bottle of bleach. The family attempted for her to be treated in Pakistan, but she was brought back to England to be treated. She was in a unit for 8 weeks. Once she was well, she was returned back home.

A few weeks passed and she was brutally murdered by her parents at the age of 17. She was held down, whilst her parents put a paper bag down her throat and suffocated her. Her siblings were forced to watch.

As brutal as these cases are, these are only two of thousands. For Jasvinder, the authorities helped her, but Shafilea wasn’t as lucky. An understanding of forced marriages is important because we can stop further victims.

Why are there still forced marriages?

As shown by the cases above, there are cultural pressures placed upon children.

  • To control unwanted and ‘unsuitable’ behaviour including sexuality and relationships, i.e. with people outside their ethnic, cultural, caste or religious group.

  • To protect perceived cultural or religious ideals.

  • Family ‘honour’ or long-standing family commitments.

  • Peer group or family pressure.

  • To ensure land, property and wealth remain in the family.

  • To strengthen family links.

  • To assist claims for residence and citizenship.

  • To provide a carer for a disabled family member/reduce the ‘stigma’ of disability.

(BBC)

There’s a difference between culture and religion. Forced marriages are forbidden in all world-leading religions. Whereas, forced marriages are founded by some cultural traditions. As a result of this, cultural traditions shouldn’t be deemed immediately acceptable.


In today's world, forced and arranged marriages are better understood from learning about cases like Jasvinder and Shafilea. However, there’s still has a long way before eradicating forced marriages. This ultimately comes from educating ourselves.

I hope you found this enlightening in some way. Once again, thank you so much for reading. I hope to see you next time :)

Love,

Shanaz Xx

References:

Forced marriage girl aged five among 400 minors helped. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17534262. 2012.

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